Dreaming.. a poem about Fibromyalgia

Dreaming of a place far away,
to escape the pain if only for little while,
if only I could just sit and stay,
in this new place that makes me smile.

Only in my dreams I can be free,
free, to roam and love life again.
The sun shinning and the air breezy,
everything so beautiful and then...

I am pulled back to what is real,
to a life of pain and loneliness.
my legs stiff and brittle.
the sharp jabs of pain in my body feel like prickly cactus.

Jerked out of my dreams where I could be me,
back to a life that I can barely stand.
I know that some think I am only lazy.
So much blame as though this illness I had wanted and planned.

I prayed for healing, I prayed for death,
I prayed for my family to be able to withstand.
I hoped and prayed with every breath,
that somehow they would understand.

An invisible illness is what they call it,
I see the stares and hear the whispers, "she looks well to me"
They can't see how bad it hurts just to sit.
The sharp jabs of pain they don't want to see.

I still have the joys in life,
day dreams can come true.
I have fought my illnesses with all my might.
God has made my body whole and anew.

Maybe one day I will go to Africa,
not in my dreams but in this new life.
Then next to the arctic to see the tundra!
An explorer, or maybe just another dream of a housewife!!