Sunday, March 18, 2012

Life is crazy..

 I Had a rough morning with my oldest son, Tyler (8) which is pretty normal then I backed up out of the garage and it sounded like I was dragging something.. hmmm maybe because there was a bike under my van.. Got it out and I think only the training wheel was damaged..
I was pretty sure I was late since no one was in the fellowship hall so I rushed up the steps only to find the sanctuary empty. We WERE EARLY! So a couple of men got a good laugh about that.. I was like wow did the rapture happen and I got left behind with the two of you? Just my luck!! Ha ha! My husband had taken our two little ones to Sunday school with him so it was just Tyler and I..
Church finally gets started and of course even though I was there 15 minutes early I am still one of the last ones in. Somehow I manage to be late even when I am early it's ok though they have given up on me being in the pew on time. I am usually chasing one of my boys around trying to get us all in the same place at the same time can be a challenge.
Church was really good this morning really enjoyed the message and the singing.. Not to mention getting to play with the baby behind me. What a joy and blessing to have her and "those adults" who come with her in our church family. Not everything happens the way we want or expect but God's hand it in it just the same.
I did leave right after though wanted to get Tyler home he was in one of his moods and that isn't good. He was not even being nice to people at church which is becoming more and more the case. Some of that is kind of good because they get to see the boy we see everyday and not the fake one he use to show people. I just wish he could be happy.. I have faith that one day he will. Today was not that day, not for him.
My husband put Stephan's (6) loft bed into Christopher's (4) bedroom Oh my the fun the two of them had! The mess and noise they made though, the two of them are best friends and two peas in a pod! We have been trying to figure out how to get Christopher to sleep in his own bed and tonight he went upstairs after prayers and got into his own bed and went to sleep! YAY!! He did come back down one time and my husband took him to the bathroom and then back to his own bed. So far so good usually he is back up again for hours! Well he is now back down here but he sleeping on the couch pretty good it is almost 1 am..
I checked my face book this afternoon to find that a friend who had passed away several months ago, her sister who my friends and I had become closer too, daughter has passed away too. Her daughter was also special needs I believe she was in her early 20's. I don't want to question God because I know he knows what he is doing but wow to lose a child has to be one of the worse pains a parent can endure. My heart has been breaking for her all day. It was so hard to even type on her page how sorry I was because words just can't express it enough. Everything I typed just didn't seem to compare to what I was really feeling for her. I don't think there are any magic words at times like these. The I am so sorry and you are in my thoughts and prayers just seem like so little and yet what else can you say? What do you say to a mother who has just lost her child?
Back to church.. during prayers I spoke about my own daughter my oldest she is flying across the US this morning to interview at two plants both seem to really want her, this would mean she and her family, our two grand-daughters would be moving. It is a great opportunity for her and an increase in pay. I am so very proud of her but as her mother it is hard to let go. They are six hours away as it is so to think of 30 hours is a bit hard. She was also recently diagnosed with EDS, her oldest daughter also has it..She has open heart surgery two years ago which is what lead to the discovery of the EDS in our family. My daughter her mother begin to research and found this which is good since she has a sever case of it.  My husband has it and it is also in my family, though it is a rare disorder.. yep leave it to us to be able to make it not so rare.. This is what worries me more than anything, her health has not been good but after hearing about my friends daughter it seems like this is so much more of a blessing than I first thought. I am going to miss her like crazy and the girls too but at least I know they are safe and they are alive! I can pick up the phone and call her and I will still be able to email her.
So I was feeling a bit petty having asked for prayers when my daughter is only moving and we don't even know if she will take either job though pretty sure she will..
Twenty years or so ago.. my husband and I moved our little family at the time from TX to IN. I remember my mother in law crying and I didn't totally understand her pain. Now as a mother I do. I also understand why my daughter, whom my husband and I raised to be strong and independent would do the same for her family. I am going to support and encourage her she is a wonderful young woman and I very proud of her and very thankful that she will only be on the other end of the country from me. I do reserve the right to cry however even if it is when she isn't around.. I know she will miss us too I mean who wouldn't?
So tonight my husband and I got to sit and talk without a child in between us making noise. God has shown me that it is ok for my daughter to move 30 hours away because he will be there with her as he always has been.
I am also very proud of my youngest daughter who is very supportive of her sister and really does encourage her too. When they were little and would fight I use to make them say they were sorry and hug.. I use to always hear when we grow up you can't make me hug her! I don't have too! They love each other so much and that makes me feel so good too.. God has filled my life with so many blessings and while I grieve for my friend's loss I am humbled by the blessings God has reminded me that I have today.

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