Potty training are you ready?
These
are some simple steps which have worked for me to potty train,
special needs children two of them with fetal alcohol syndrome and
reactive attachment disorder, two with autism as well as three hard
to train children. I have also potty trained four girls, two of my own
who were trained before the age of two using these same steps.
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| Christopher's 2nd birthday in his big boy pants |
Many
children with fetal alcohol syndrome, Autism and other special needs
can NOT be potty trained at the age of two, three or even four. This
is because the brain doesn't tell the child he/she needs to go.
Sometimes they are just simply not ready yet. Your child must be
emotionally ready. He/She should want to go and not show any signs of
fear or confusion. If your child is extremely resistant then it would
be best on parents and child to wait a bit longer. I did use pull ups
with my youngest who is very bright even though he does have fetal
alcohol syndrome, it took a year of working with him for him to
finally get the idea of what he was suppose to be doing. This took a
great deal of time on my part but it was worth it to go slow with
him. At three he was completely potty trained, he doesn't even have
accidents except at night.
Two
things you have to remember is to keep it positive and simple.
Take time to stop, watch and talk for a few days!
– Before
you begin to potty train, you need to stop and watch your child,
watch for facial expression that come just before they pee or have a
bowel movement. Watch to see what time of day your child normally
goes poop and pee. Watch for signs your child is going pee or poop in
their diaper and let them know this is what they are doing. This
helps them connect going pee or poop to the feeling they have at the
time. Most children actually have a natural schedule of when they go
each day. This way you can make sure you have them on the potty when
it is time to start training at those critical moments this will help
your child to succeed and feel proud.
-
Watch to see what foods your child is eating that causes them to go
more. This might be carrots or broccoli could also be a milk product.
Each child is different but it is always good to start out having
them try to go after each meal if their bodies do not have a
consistent schedule. I give my children Raisin bran if they have not
been going regularly for breakfast and they go pretty quick after
they eat it. Apples are also a great way to get your child going poop
or apple juice at a certain time each day will help you know when
they need to go. Watch to see how long It takes them to go after they
eat the apple or drink juice. Also lots of water is always important
for your child.
-
Buy a good potty chair, explain to the child he is a big boy/girl
now and you are going to pick him/her out a special potty just for
them. Keep this very positive and if possible allow your child to
help pick out his/her “big boy/girl potty.
Be excited and
your child will be excited too.
-
Buy“big boy/girl pants", make sure to buy plastic pants also at
least 8-12 pairs. Expect your child to have accidents
and deal with them calmly. The thicker training pants are best to
start with and are more cost effective.
-
Talk to your child, explain that they are big now and big kids go on
the potty. Explain to them that you as parents use the potty, you
could also let them see a slightly older sibling if there is one
using the potty. I know some people take their child in the bathroom
with them that is fine if this is what you chose to do..
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| Christopher being silly with his new big boy pants |
Time
to Potty train
You
are going to need to have a piece of paper, some stickers and some
toys from the dollar store.If you child is special needs there are other suggestions at the end.
Now
that you are ready, lets get your child ready!
Step
1 - Is your child ready to try out his potty chair? You can put
the chair in a common room at first so he/she can sit on it when they
want. This gets them use to this new special chair just for her/him.
It helps to relieve the fear of it all. This is a new concept to your
child don't rush it.
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| I am gonna figure this out I promise! |
Step
2- You should still be talking to your child about using the potty.
Explain to him or her that they are now ready to go pee and poop in
this new special child and how proud you are that he/she is so big.
Again always be excited and positive and always expect some
hesitation. Your child most likely is NOT going to jump up and down
for joy if they think this is going to be a chore.
Step
3- Take a piece of paper and write your child's name at the top of
it. You can have your child color it, if you want. Hang the paper on
the wall with tape or put it on the fridge with magnets. A place
where it is easy to get too. This is where you will need your
stickers. Explain in simple terms that when your child is a “big
boy/girl” and goes pee or poop on the potty he/she will get a
sticker on their paper. Now you take out the bag of toys, not too
many toys only 3-5 since you don't want to over stimulate the child
when he sees them. Now explain to your child once his page is filled
up with stickers he will get to pick a toy out of the bag. Start off
with a lower number of stickers so your child is able to reach his
goal and get one of those toys. I would suggest five or six for a few
days then you can move up the number needed.
Another first for me when all else fails, was
giving my son M&Ms when he went potty. For children who have
special needs you will have to do more and this worked well for him.
Just make sure you have enough of them on hand.
Step4–
Ask your child if he wants to try to go pee or poop on his new big
boy potty. If he says no, this time wait and try again later. Keep
positive and know some children just take longer to train.
Step
5 – The "BIG MOMENT" comes and he wants to sit on his potty and try
to go pee. You go into the bathroom with him. Do not expect your
child to go his first try and give him time. Have a couple of books
already in the bathroom you can sit down on the floor next to him and
read one of them to him. If he doesn't go tell him that it is okay,
he can try again later and praise him for trying to go.
If
he goes then praise him, clap your hands, dance around with him, hug
him, this is a huge thing he has done. Tell him, “I have a big
boy/girl now!!” Have him call Grandma and tell her he is a big boy
and went pee on the potty or other supportive family members or
friends your child is close to. Make sure he tells Daddy and make
sure everyone knows ahead of time that their role is to be supportive
and they too need to make a huge deal out of his first time. This
will set what he does or doesn't do next into motion. All children
love positive attention and I have found children with special needs
need it even more. You want all the positive attention you can get
for him/her going pee or poop on the potty.
Step
6 – “The accident” and there will be many. Know it,
expect and accept it before it happens. Tell your child that it is
okay, we all have accidents now we need to get you cleaned up. Clean
him up and have him help wash out his underwear in the bathtub or sink, never
the toilet, that is demeaning for a child or anyone else. Have a
bucket ready in the bathroom to put the wet underwear in. Do not
scold your child this is something he has not learned to control yet.
Cleaning his underwear out should be just something you need to do,
not a punishment but a fact. They are wet and need to be washed this
teaches him how to clean them himself for later on. Don't dwell on
the accident giving him too much attention for the accident will
cause him to have more.
Step
7 – He goes on the potty again, praise him, hug him, clap for him
or dance with him but make it fun! Once again, you have to set the
tone and you have to always praise the behavior you want in any
situation with your child. This is what you want to give him lots of
attention for. Have your support people do the same rather it is
Daddy, Grandma or other people. Make sure to give your child a
sticker to put on their potty page.
Step
8 -Once your child has done well on the potty with only a couple of
accidents. For children without special needs this should happen
within two weeks. He should have been able to fill up a couple of
sticker sheets by now and has the hang of it. At least one a week, If
he hasn't done well the first two weeks continue as you have been.
Make sure to give very little attention to the accidents, no scolding
only tell him he is a big boy now and pee goes in the potty if you
believe he is able to do so.
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| It is very tiring to go on the potty all the time! |
If
there are more accidents than not, your child might not be ready yet.
This is the only time I would ever put a pull up on a child as I
believe them to be very confusing. You can use them at night however
explain to the child this is just because it is harder to go potty at
night but you expect him to use the potty during the day. A pull up
feels too much like a diaper and for over two – three years they
have gone potty in a diaper. You want them to know when they have
gone in underwear they will feel when they go pee o poop and they
will want the dirty underwear off, so they are more likely to tell
you they are wet.
Step
9 – If your child is getting it down, then increase the amount of
stickers needed to get the new toy. This will help him to have more
motivation to make it to the potty on time. Most children will get
busy playing and not want to stop playing to go potty, this is
normal. You need to tell you child at this point he is a big boy and
you expect him to go pee on the potty. These days the praise is not
as strong as you want him to get in the habit of going. You still
need to give praise however and a hug can never hurt a child.
The
more praise you give in the good times, the more good times you are
going to GET!
Step
10 – Your child is dry during the day now but not at night. Bed
wetting is very common in special needs children as it is in normal
children. Some simple things you can do to help, is no more drinks
two hours before bedtime expect for a small one right before bedtime.
Make sure to send your child to the bathroom each night just before
they go to bed, they should try rather they need to go or not this
should become part of your bedtime routine. You also need to send
your child to the bathroom before you leave your house tell them to
try if they can't go no big deal.
If
they pee at night do not make a big deal out of it simply get them
dry underwear and PJ's. Do not give a lot of attention at this time
either. Just help them get changed and back into bed. If this happens
keep them in pull ups. Then give them a sticker each morning they
wake up dry on their paper. This will also encourage them to try to
stay dry if they are able. If they are not able, then they just don't
get a sticker.
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I am such a big boy now!!
Christopher age 3 fully potty trained |
For hard to train or special needs children
